I could just run around terrorizing people forever. They wouldn't be able to kill me with anything, even silver bullets because some other zombie would probably be able to sew my head back on and I would continue terrorizing everyone forever. Plus, not dying means constant fun!
2. I could go wherever I wanted always.
No one is going to stop a zombie from going inside that old castle/farmhouse/field/thing that has signs that say no trespassing. Instead, they will let me go in and make it my own fort. No one will even dare to go into (my) castle because I am a scary ass zombie and I might be trying to start some kind of an apocalypse.
3. I wouldn't have to get dressed or take a shower.
Although showering is a basic human need that I enjoy doing on a daily basis, if I were a zombie, being repulsive would be my job. It would also allow me to be completely lazy if I wanted to be and not shower. I also wouldn't have to worry about picking out clothes because they would get all torn up and nasty anyway. Who wants a nicely dressed zombie whore around?
4. I could kidnap my ex boyfriends and scare them all.
Ex boyfriends would NEVER see it coming when a mother f*cking zombie appears on their doorstep all drooling and nasty. It would be the perfect revenge plan, and you couldn't get in trouble for kidnapping because the cops would be too afraid of you anyway. Besides, becoming a zombie and hiding your ex boyfriends in your fort is like THE BEST revenge. I mean, you just can't beat that. No matter what. Scaring them would be like your food...it would pretty much be your mana bar.
5. I would have superpowers.
Who knows what kind of zombie super power I would have. I hope that it would be mind reading because then I would know what a person was going to do before they did it and be able to attack easier. Also, I think I would love to hear how scared they were of me. Who has ever seen a real (dead) zombie before?!
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