The No Filter Issue *UPDATED*

I never realized until lately how bad I am about making completely awkward statements that have absolutely no place coming out of my mouth at all.

Yes, I have been dating you for 6 weeks, let me now begin making incredibly awkward and uncomfortable statements about the future.

#1 “YAY! That means I can bring home my work stuff and you can help me work on it”
Awkward because #1, why would I be sharing my home with him? That is weird. It has only been a few weeks. Also, why in the world does he want to help me do my work? The awkwardness lies in the fact that men HATE commitment (for the most part). This just ruins things. In most situations.

#2 “You are going to be a good dad!”
Awkward. Who ever said that he even wants to be a dad. Also, you are basically implying that you will be the mother of his children. What if you are a terrible person and he intuitively knows this and would never have children with you? Of course, it has only been 6 weeks so its all fair game right now. By now you should have already named your future children.

#3 Almost saying “I love you” awkwardly
Just don’t do this. It’s never what you actually mean to say so you end up speaking gibberish and trying to back pedal. These two things don’t distract him from the commitment fear. You are basically screwed at this point. Always let the man say those words first to prevent you from experiencing the vast majority of the awkwardness.

#4 “We are getting old! Everyone is getting married and having kids!”
This is a definite no-no. He will think that you are trying to marry him and have his babies or that you are in some kind of rush to marry him and have his babies. Either way, it will create an uncomfortable silence…or else he will laugh at you and ask how many kids you want to have. This flips the awkwardness back on you. He did this on purpose to discourage you from making more awkward statements.

#5 Saying “My ex husband has almost the same initials as you!”
Why.The.Hell.Would.You.Say.This? Of course because you have no filter and it was what you thought of when he saw your tattoo. This is two issues. Part one, don’t ever tattoo anyone’s initials on you unless they are your best friend forever. Part two, now he knows that you could get the tattoo fixed to reflect his initials which is creepy and also damning to the relationship.